Not what You think
by 1LightningStar
Summary: Top anthropologist Izaya Orihara was on top of the world, he'd envy himself if he could. Meanwhile, renowned archaeologist Shizuo Heiwajima was content, living a peaceful, quiet life adventuring in the outdoors. Then it all went crashing down with an ultimatum: succeed in a top secret research project that'll probably get them killed, or lose everything.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

* * *

The top anthropologist in Japan, and one of the best in the world. High up on his pedestal, he was the god who watched over his beloved humans, with all his heart. Until it crumbled, of course.

 _His love wasn't for himself._

A renowned archaeologist, his life hung on a thread for a simple mistake. A furious magnet of danger and excitement, all he wanted was peace.

 _He wanted to love someone._

The young, brilliant anthropologist prodigy who quickly climbed the ranks. Truly a shark, he hated humans. They were only to be used, then trashed.

 _He was terrified of being devoid of love, alone._

A highly capable forensic archaeology analyst, he could read people's hearts without so much as a glance. Purely amoral, the sole thing he cared about was his soul mate.

 _His entire being was based on loving something inhuman._

* * *

Forced together, they must succeed or their lives may as well be over, if they're not killed first.


	2. The loves of my life, my humans

'Humans, humans, humans! They're so hypocritical they're hysterical! Humans indignantly think they're so _different_ from everyone else, somehow getting it into their heads that being different makes them special! Ah ha ha! Though, even their stupidity is fascinating.'

This is what Izaya Orihara thought as he sat by a cafe window with a smug sneer, eavesdropping on a table of high school girls as one of them cried incessantly, "I love him so much! I confessed and he said he liked Yui-chan! What does she have that I don't!? I'm so much prettier, nicer, and smarter than that witch! That's it, she's not my friend anymore! Tomorrow we'll start with her gym clothes, I know her locker combo..."

Izaya chucked to himself as he finished the last of his black coffee, paid the bill, and left to stroll around Shinjuku. He could see straight through every one of them, he always could.

Humans. They were his line of work, his reason for existence, his passion, his _love_. Quite simply, they were his everything.

Why? He'd never let himself ask that.

Suddenly, his phone beeped. "Hello-"

"Izaya, I need to see you straight away. Go to meeting room #3," said a low, feminine voice he recognized instantly.

Izaya grinned. "I'm on my way."

Now, what could be so important that his boss had called him directly, instead of her secretary?

As he walked towards his workplace, he took a moment to bask in his magnificence.

Izaya was the top anthropologist working for Japan's most prestigious scientific research corporation in Anthropology, _Sapien_ , making him one of the best anthropologists in the world.

An anthropologist. The job was so perfect for him, he could never imagine being anything else. Though, he supposes, if anthropology didn't exist then he would be an informant, spending his life manipulating people for his own amusement.

His ascent to the top had been a cakewalk. That was thanks to a sizable amount of small new discoveries, numerous papers, and consistently crushing all competition in the company because he was head and shoulders above them all in both intelligence and skill. _Sapien_ had multiple branches located all throughout Japan, but it was headquartered in Shinjuku, so being their top anthropologist, Izaya was stationed here.

Of course, Izaya made sure his boss never forgot just how valuable he was, and she didn't, judging by his enormous salary, a very flexible schedule, and other numerous perks his co-workers could only dream of. It was all to make Izaya stay at the company, and Izaya had to admit, his boss really was a smart woman, as she knew _Sapien_ would suffer if he were to leave and work for a rival company.

Fifteen minutes later he arrived at the doors of _Sapien_. It was an impressive skyscraper, 150 stories high covered in reflective Daytime Privacy glass, where employees could see out but no pedestrian could see in. Reflecting the sky, it painted the structure in blots of creamy white against a backdrop of blue.

Izaya went inside, crossed the polished gold marble floor of the lobby, and headed straight for the elevator. He pushed the Up button and stood patiently in front of the elevator.

 _Ding!_ The elevator slid open, but before Izaya could take a step, something huge and heavy slammed into him like a bullet train, sending him crashing to the ground with a loud _T_ _hump!_

Aching all over, Izaya's head snapped up to glare at his assailant, expecting at least an apology, and was shocked to meet murderous eyes staring down at him.

Everything about the offender screamed _pissed off_ , from their knuckle white fists, ape man like stance, and lion-like growls.

' _Monster_ ' was Izaya's first thought about this infuriating beast.

"Watch where you're going damn it!" shouted said monster, as he whipped out a cancer stick from his pocket, lighted it, and wasted no time in sticking it in his mouth to inhale toxic death.

Izaya's shock was wearing off, quickly being replaced by annoyance, "It was you who tackled me! Do you have any idea who I am-"

"SHUT UP! I don't give a rat's ass who you are! You're lucky I have to be on my best behavior, or else I'd have killed you the second you touched me!" the monster growled.

Izaya could feel his annoyance boiling into anger. 'Calm down, don't lose your cool over a beast like him.'

Taking a deep breath, Izaya got up from the floor, and pressed the Up button again, mouth forming into a condescending smirk.

"Of course a monster like you wouldn't understand who is at fault here. Animals, they leave a mess and claim no responsibility, but what more can I expect from a beast?"

The monster exploded. "I'LL KILL YOU!" he roared, scaring everyone in the lobby, prompting the receptionist to call security.

 _Ding!_ "I'd love to play with you some more, but my boss is waiting for me. Have fun with security! Ta ta~", taunted Izaya as he swiftly stepped into the now open elevator, closing it before the monster could react.

Directing the elevator to meeting room #3, Izaya took another deep breath, taking the time to reflect on what just happened. He had never met anyone, no, any _beast_ like that before.

The brute wore a bartender uniform along with blue designer sunglasses, was tall, muscular yet slender, with a mop of dyed blonde hair.

It did not escape Izaya that this beast was the most striking creature he had ever seen.

'Maybe I'll use my connections to find out who he was, and then-!' Izaya was shocked yet again. 'Why do I care so much about some _thing_ I met once for what, two minutes!?' Izaya shook it off, 'I'll never see that brute again, so whatever.'

 _Ding!_ Izaya stepped off the elevator and promptly walked to the meeting room.

Meeting room #3 had blinds over tinted glass, a rectangular table with 13 chairs, and it was sound proof.

It was used exclusively for secretive meetings, and being on the top as he was, he used this room often. As he walked inside, he immediately focused on the two other people present, who simultaneously turned towards Izaya.

They analyzed one another, calculations whirring softly to the hum of the air conditioner.

'So this is a group assignment. Fine. They'll know soon that I call the shots.'

Both skinny young men, one had black hair, gray eyes behind black rimmed glasses, and had on a white lab coat along with a creepy, knowing smile. Izaya didn't recognize him, but he guessed they were the same age.

'He must be the brainy type. Jeez, the way he's looking at me, it's like I'm some insect he's dissecting...pervert.'

The other man he knew.

A lot younger, he had shaggy blue hair, brown eyes, and a happy smile. He'd seen him in a meeting once a while back, sitting on the side, taking notes. He was probably an intern back then.

Izaya had immediately disliked the kid upon laying eyes on him. He saw as clear as glass, that behind that sick syrupy, friendly facade, lied a predator, waiting to devour his prey.

He was a shark, whom gazed at him coolly, smile twisting into a knife edged smirk, as if he could tell exactly what Izaya was thinking.

It was the creep who spoke first.

"Hello! My name is Shinra Kishitani! But you can call me Shinra!"

Izaya sighed, "I'm Izaya Orihara, call me whatever you want."

Shark boy jumped in. "I'm Aoba Kuronuma, nice to-"

 ** _CRASH!_**

Everyone jumped. "What the hell was that?!", exclaimed Aoba.

Suddenly the door opened and closed, revealing the boss.

Suki Hanatori was a middle aged woman, every bit the professional she ought to be, with her purple pant suits and formal demeanor. Never married and childless, she was dedicated to her job as CEO of _Sapien_ , having sacrificed her personal life when she decided to pursue a real career decades ago.

Izaya snidely wonders if it was worth it.

"Greetings everyone," Said woman was frowning, she hated tardiness.

A sigh. "We must wait until the last member arrives-"

 ** _SLAM!_** The door smashed into a wall, cracking both as someone stood in the doorway, huffing and puffing. Izaya turned, excited at whoever it must be, eyes widening in shock at the sight before him. The person standing in the doorway, was none other than that blonde beast.

The monster blurted, "Sorry I'm late-" The monster locked eyes with Izaya.


	3. Why must you be so cruel, Life?

As for why Shizuo was standing there, drenched in sweat, gaping like a fish on land, and now beyond infuriated, he would like to blame it on that _flea_.

 _3 weeks ago_

Shizuo wiped sweat off his brow as he packed up his tools on an Aogashima volcanic digging site, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips. He had been there all month, trying to find the bones belonging to a deceased ancestor of the natives living in the area.

After countless hours of digging and aimless detecting, earlier that day Shizuo finally found a tiny part of a bone, 1/2 inch long and 3 centimeters wide. It went beyond his assignment, which was to just dig around, studying the remains of the site, but Shizuo Heiwajima was no normal archaeologist.

He was one of the chief archaeologists in the company he worked for, _Hohmoh_ , with _Hohmoh_ being the third best Anthropology corporation in Japan.

Regardless, Shizuo didn't care for titles or accomplishments. He was content, living a nice, peaceful life, and doing what he could to better the world.

He'd always loved nature, he couldn't explain it, but he supposed it was because they both wanted peace. Additionally, he figured shedding some light on the history of life in the world would benefit knowledge, and thus, the world.

He had to admit, life was good.

At least it was, until on the way back to his hotel, he spotted his boss.

Taro Yakama was your typical CEO of a powerful organization, average-looking, and stuck-up through and through. Personally, Shizuo disliked him, but he disliked almost everybody.

Still, Shizuo put up with him because his boss was more than willing to give him what he wanted, and Shizuo would like to think it was because of his abilities as an archaeologist, and not his temperament.

'What the hell is he doing in Aogashima? Shouldn't he be in headquarters, back in Chiyoda?' thought Shizuo, confused.

He shrugged it off, walking on, he minded his own business.

"Taro-kun! Let's go back to my place! I have a surprise for you, I think you'll really enjoy it~!" sang a high pitched feminine voice.

Shizuo recalled meeting Taro's wife once during a meeting, and remembered her voice as being a deep timber. 'Weird, is his wife sick or something?'

He'll never know why he turned his head around that day, whether it was just his curiosity or fate.

But that moment changed everything.

His eyes widened in shocked anger as he saw Taro's sick _wife_ was in fact, actually an attractive young woman decked in makeup and designer clothing.

He roared, "YAHHHHHH!"

He absolutely hated pathetic low-lifes who would do something as disgusting and despicable as _cheat_.

Taro froze, knowing full well who it was, and still confused as to why Shizuo was so pissed off. "S-Sh-Shizuo! I-I mean Heiwajima-san! How are you? You look-"

"What are you doing with some RANDOM CHICK instead of your WIFE!" yelled Shizuo as he uprooted a utility pole, gripping it like a baseball bat.

By now said chick had fled the scene, along with anyone in a 1 mile radius. "N-No! It's not what it looks like I swear!" Taro threw his hands up, sweating profusely. "We're just friends! She invited me to her house to uh, she wanted to show me her book collection!"

"Bullshit," was all Shizuo said as he slammed the pole into Taro, sending him sailing like a comet upwards into the sky, disappearing with a _*twinkle*_.

Taro eventually landed on some utility lines and got electrocuted, but nevertheless he still survived. However, every bone in his body was broken, and he was covered head to toe in burns of all degrees.

Crippled and scarred for life, it was safe to say, the life of Taro Yakama was over.

Broken inside-out, Taro would be damned if he didn't drag Shizuo down with him.

He immediately sued Shizuo for attempted murder, all types of harassment, e.t.c. Unfortunately for Shizuo, with the power and influence Taro had as the CEO of _Hohmoh_ , Shizuo was, for lack of a better word, SCREWED.

Shizuo's fate was sealed, it was certain he was going to be locked in the slammer for his next 3 lives, and the worst part, Shizuo knew this would devastate his beloved brother, Kasuka.

Things were absolutely hopeless, until out of nowhere, a miracle swept Shizuo Heiwajima off his feet.

 _A few days ago_

 _Ring!_

 _Ring!_

 _Ri-_ "Yeah hello?" Shizuo asked as he groggily answered his phone, looking at the time on his clock. _4 AM_

"Is this Shizuo Heiwajima?" asked a low, feminine voice.

"Yeah, who the fuck is this? Do you know what time it is-"

"Heiwajima-san, I'm sorry but this is very urgent. I'm Suki Hanatori, the CEO of _Sapien_. I need to speak with you right away."

' _Sapien_? Wasn't that one of _Hohmoh's_ rival companies?' Shizuo grumbled, "Fine. What?"

"I'm offering you a deal. Come work for _Sapien_. If you accept the assignment I'm going to offer you, then all your charges will be cleared, no questions asked."

Shizuo bolted up in shell shock. " _WHAT!_ If this is some joke-"

"This is no joke I assure you. _Sapien_ needs you on this assignment, and _Sapien_ has the influence, power, and connections to trump Yakama-san's. We can guarantee your slate will be wiped clean."

Still shocked, Shizuo managed to sputter, "I'll take it, whatever your assignment is, I'm in!"

He could feel a smile through the phone. "Splendid. To be briefed on the assignment, come to _Sapien_ headquarters in Shinjuku, meeting room #3, on July 5 at 1:00 PM sharp. Don't be late. Also, be as inconspicuous as possible." _Click!_ The line went dead.

Shizuo sat still for a second.

Bursting out of bed, Shizuo roared, "YAHHHHHHH!" This time, it was a roar of joy.

 _10 minutes ago_

Outraged, Shizuo descended the elevator of _Sapien_ for the 5th time that day. He had been to numerous meeting rooms, none of them #3. He didn't want to ask for directions because Hanatori-san told him not to draw attention to himself, and he absolutely didn't want to want to displease the person who had just saved him from Hell.

But after glancing at his watch and realizing he had just 10 minutes until he was late, he decided he had to ask for directions from the lobby receptionist.

 _Ding!_ Gritting his teeth, he charged out of the elevator as fast as he could.

He was gonna make it on time, no matter what- _Thump!_

He hit something small and soft, sending it sprawling into the floor. Pissed, he shouted, "Watch where you're going damn it!" He needed to calm down, so he decided now would be a good time for a quick smoke.

He looked down, seeing the offensive thing was actually a small, slender young man with red, mahogany eyes and raven hair. The man looked pretty pissed himself, barking, "It was you who tackled me! Do you have any idea who I am-"

This little _flea_ was pissing him off more and more by the second. "SHUT UP! I don't give a rat's ass who you are! You're lucky I have to be on my best behavior, or else I'd have killed you the second you touched me!"

The flea got up from his ass, dusted himself off, and pressed the elevator button. He turned to Shizuo with an arrogant smirk.

"Of course a monster like you wouldn't understand who is at fault here. Animals, they leave a mess and claim no responsibility, but what more can I expect from a beast?"

By now Shizuo was seeing red. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

 _Ding!_ Quick as a flash, the flea jumped into the open elevator and closed it, but not before sneering, "I'd love to play with you some more, but my boss is waiting for me. Have fun with security! Ta ta~"

'Security?'

"Hey you! Get out of here, you're disrupting the company environment!"

"Leave, or we will use force!"

"SHIT! Damn it!" Shizuo raced towards the receptionist, he had to know where meeting room #3 was!

"Please tell me where meeting room #3 is I'm begging you!" Shizuo tried to lower his voice, failing.

The receptionist quivered in fear, and said shakily, "I-It's on the sixth floor, on the far left! Please don't kill me!"

Relieved, Shizuo turned towards the elevator, only to find the guards gaining on him.

Normally, Shizuo would beat those punks into next week, but again, he had to be on his best behavior for Hanatori-san.

He was terrified she'd withdraw her offer.

 _2 minutes ago_

He didn't know what to do, when suddenly an idea hit him.

Shizuo barged out the front door of _Sapien_ , getting rid of the guard problem, and immediately scaled a giant tree that was to the right of _Sapien_ , which he recalled seeing on his way here.

At the highest point of the tree, he was level with the sixth floor, and he steeled himself for what he was about to do.

Gathering up power in his calves, he launched himself from the tree like a dart-

 ** _CRASH!_** He barreled through 4 inches of thick Daytime Privacy glass, cartwheeling 10 feet until he hit a door, slumping against it.

He quickly realized he was in a large meeting room, and in one moment of dread, thought it was meeting room #3. He saw the number 7, and almost drowned in relief.

 _Now_

He glanced at his watch, "Damn it all! I'm late! ARGHH!" Trying to calm down, he remembered the tree was on the right side of _Sapien_ , which meant he had to run to get to the left side. He wasted no time in sprinting through the halls like an Olympian.

Rounding a corner, the number 3 flashed at him, and he grabbed the doorknob, wrenching it open and chucking it to the side.

He huffed. "Sorry I'm late-" He locked eyes with the flea.


	4. Set the Stage, why don't c'ya?

A split second of silence.

"YOUUU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Suki snapped, "Heiwajima-san! Stop shouting at once, I will not tolerate this sort of behavior in this office!"

At that low, feminine voice, Shizuo remembered why he was here, sobering him. It took everything he had and then some, but he reigned in his temper.

Shizuo took deep, deep breaths, though it was more like hyperventilating, managing to mutter, "Sorry." He closed the door, or rather, what was left of it.

"Please take a seat. I would like to begin as soon as possible."

He huffed and plopped into a seat, the farthest one away from Izaya, grumbling. He tried to distract himself from the urge to rip the flea's throat out by brushing off pieces of excess glass that still clung to him, oblivious to the bewildered stares.

Izaya lamented, 'I have to work with this brute!?' He was about to decline the assignment and walk out right there, when Suki spoke up.

"Last week in Okinawa, one of our archaeologists, Dr. Yoiuba, discovered artifacts from a digging site, which we believe to be from an ancient Okinawan tribe."

That got everyone's attention.

A whole new tribe? Discovering even the _existence_ of ancient tribes these days were rare, and if they were to actually uncover information on a tribe, they would become akin to royalty in the anthropological community.

Not only that, it would be the discovery of the decade in Japan Anthropology. _Sapien_ will stay as Japan's top Anthropology corporation for years to come.

Suki continued, "I want you to work as a team to decipher these artifacts and uncover information on this Okinawan tribe's way of life."

If only it were that simple.

Suki's expression turned grim, "I have two things worth mentioning. The first, I ordered Dr. Yoiuba to immediately deposit the artifacts in our main lab in Shinjuku, and return here. After his deposit, on his return here, his car collided with a truck, with both exploding presumably due to the truck's gas leak. He and the truck driver were both killed. Everything's been so burned the identities of the bodies could only be identified through the plate licenses a speeding camera took."

She continued, "I believe it was no accident, he was murdered."

Stunned silence.

Finally, Aoba spoke up. "There's no evidence that he was murdered! It was a car accident."

Izaya silently agreed with Aoba. 'She's just paranoid. Right?'

Shizuo was just confused.

Thoughtful, Shinra asked, "Who was the truck driver?"

"The license plate showed it belonged to a carpenter. But that isn't important, anyone could have drove that truck."

Shizuo bursted. "But why would they kill themselves just to kill some _scientist_!? This Yoiuba guy wasn't some wanted man! This isn't a crappy detective novel!"

Suki shook her head. "You'd be surprised what people are capable of. Dr. Yoiuba was a calculating, cautious man, meticulous in everything he did. He would never get himself into a car accident. And it wasn't just any car crash, it burned _everything_ into a crisp. It was probably to destroy all evidence that it wasn't an accident at all."

Shinra's eyes narrowed. "So let's just say it was on purpose, what would anyone have to gain?"

Suki firmly stated, "It was to get rid of the one man most qualified to decipher the artifacts. He specialized in ancient tools, and without him gauging these artifacts it would be near impossible. _Sapien_ may be #1 right now, but with the loss of this discovery, our rival companies may be able to top us this year. This means we lose investors, grants, credibility, I could go on. In other words, this sabotage is the work of one or more of our rival companies."

A chill ran through the room.

"As this was a huge discovery, everyone at _Sapien_ was told to keep it under wraps. Only someone at _Sapien_ would know these artifacts existed and that Dr. Yoiuba was the scientist assigned to it. This leads me to believe there are moles here in _Sapien."_

Shizuo growled, "No way! Don't start with that conspiracy shit-"

"Heiwajima-san! Watch your language!"

"I have to agree with him," Shinra said. "I think you're being paranoid. This is all speculation and wild guessing."

Izaya could tell Suki wasn't having any of it.

Suki braced herself. "This is a warning from our rivals: Leave the artifacts alone. But _Sapien_ will not submit! This research project is top secret, you cannot talk about this outside of this team. This is to prevent the moles from leaking your involvement, as they will be actively searching for whoever's working on this assignment. "

Softly, she said, "If they discover you, you will be targeted."

No one said anything, as they tried to process it all.

Suki went on, "On to the second thing, you have a time limit. Against my arguments that you needed more time, the board wants you to present your findings at the BreakThrough Summit.

Before anyone else could, Shizuo exploded. "WHAT! That's in 6 months! And I thought you said to keep this a secret, not announce it to all of Japan!"

Suki solemnly replied, "Yes, that's true. But after your presentation at the Summit, if anything happened to any of you four, everyone would know it was our rivals, and we would be able to sue and win. They all know that, so you'll be left alone."

Held December 31st, the BreakThrough Summit was an annual gathering of all of Japan's Anthropology corporations, with each company presenting their achievements of the year. Not only do fellow companies witness these presentations, many investors and endorsers were present as well, looking for the company worthy of their business.

It was basically a competition for recognition and investments that ranked the companies and set the tone for the entire following year. On the side, it was also a bragging fest for those top notch, stuck up scientists to show off their accomplishments.

So of course, Izaya looked forward to every one, as he led _Sapien_ 's Anthropology field, showing up all opponents every time. All arrogance aside, Izaya was one of the legitimate reasons _Sapien_ was ranked #1 every year at the Summit, which just fueled his ego even more.

Izaya knew showing this research would secure _Sapien_ as the top company in Anthropology yet again, regardless of what the other companies presented, at the same time screwing over whichever rival(s) who tried to sabotage them. It was killing two birds with one stone.

But-

"What if they find out about us before the Summit?", asked Aoba.

"Don't worry. The board and I took these steps to ensure maximum confidentiality. We have secretly moved the artifacts to a smaller lab in Ikebukuro. You will all move in there for the duration of this project, it's normal for scientists to sleep there. The security systems are up to date, with competent guards. In that lab you'll be safe, and be able to keep a low profile."

Incredulous, Aoba exclaimed, "You want us to become shut-ins!? This is just like a zombie apocalypse!"

Shinra wailed, "I won't get to see my darling Celty! I can't go even a day without my beloved by my side~!"

Suki tried to appease. "Please quiet down. You'll be able to go outside during the day, though it's not advised. But never go out at night, that's an order."

She brightened. "By accepting this project, I'll triple all of your salaries, you'll get glory at the Summit, and _Sapien_ will remember what you did."

"Together, the board and I have assembled the best team in Dr. Yoiuba's place to unearth the secrets of those artifacts. Aoba Kuronuma, our youngest junior anthropologist. Shinra Kishitani, the forensic archaeology analyst with the precision of a doctor. Izaya Orihara, our top anthropologist. And Shizuo Heiwajima, a renowned archaeologist who worked previously for _Hohmoh_."

Suki beamed. "Make history! What do you say!?"

Chairs squeaked as 3 men stood to leave.

1 remained.


	5. Ultimatum

Suki glared as Aoba, Shinra, and Izaya headed towards the the door.

"Hold it right there. Excuse me, but I'm not done talking," she stated firmly. 'How rude! Kids these days...'

Izaya turned his head slightly, giving her a side-eye. "No need. There's no way I'm risking my life to stay holed up in some dumpy lab for the next 6 months just to help you beat the competition."

Shinra and Aoba nodded, not even bothering to speak.

It was all white noise to Shizuo.

He had been rescued from a Hell, only to plunge straight into another. Oh how the world was ironic.

Accept and possibly become a murder victim, Refuse and spend the rest of his life in jail.

Either way, it was _BULLSHIT!_

But Shizuo decided to take a chance. 'It's official. I'm suicidal.'

"I'm in."

At that deep, baritone voice, Izaya shifted his gaze to Shizuo.

'Is he crazy!?' His expression mirrored Aoba and Shinra's.

Suki smiled. "Thank you Heiwajima-san. As for the rest of you, I'm afraid you won't like what I'm about to say next."

'None of us liked _any_ of what you had to say,' thought everyone collectively.

"If you don't accept this project, we'll assign someone else. But then I'm afraid we'll have to incarcerate you for the next 6 months, until the Summit. "

"What! Why-"

"We can't risk you revealing any information on what happened here, as officially this assignment doesn't exist. Also, by refusing _Sapien_ will take it that you have denounced us in our hour of need, and you will be added to the Scraplist. If you accept, and fail to uncover information on this tribe, you will still be additions to the Scraplist, for your incompetence. "

 _Scraplist._

A blacklist of x-employees created by the scientific world for the people who pissed them off, to be on that list was like having a criminal record. Getting hired again for anything remotely related to science was virtually impossible, it was a red flag for all employers not to trust them.

Normally it would be a crime to Scraplist someone without a proper reason, but _Sapien_ was too powerful, and like Suki said, officially this assignment didn't exist.

His career would be over, done, finito.

Everything he had worked for, the position, the prestige, the _power_ , would all go up in smoke.

He could feel his pedestal crumbling.

It was sending him tumbling down onto the harsh, unforgiving ground where his beloved humans were.

 _No!_ He was supposed to be looking down on them, not among them!

He would break.

For the first time in a long time, Izaya didn't know what to do.

Refuse and be broken, Accept and probably die _and_ be broken.

Never had he heard of such blasphemous excuses for options.

But he made his choice.

He sneered. "If you increase my salary ten fold, and give me 4 months off every year _paid_ , you've got yourself a deal."

Stunning everyone, Izaya walked up to Suki. "Well? If you do, I'll give it my 100%~"

Suki paused. "Okay, fine. I'll extend that to all 4 of you."

Surprised, Shizuo was confused as to why she included him. 'I agreed right off the bat, without any conditions, so why?' Nonetheless, he was thankful.

'She's a tight ass, but under that, she's actually sort of nice.'

'She pities us, I knew it,' Izaya thought smugly.

Suki could have just threatened them with the blacklist and they would have been putty in her hands, but she decided to give them this bonus, purely because she felt sorry for them. Just like Izaya predicted.

Izaya laughed inside. 'Women, they're so easy to figure out.'

After some cursed mumbling, Shinra and Aoba both accepted.

Pleased, Suki handed out manila folders. "This contains your cover story, contact information, and additional instructions, memorize it, then burn it."

"Start packing immediately, I expect you to be at the Ikebukuro lab tomorrow at 12:00 PM. I trust that you will find the address yourselves. A man named Simon will meet you and show you around. _Don't_ be late."

 _Later that night_

"Shit!" Izaya did not curse often, as only vulgar idiots did, but this was just too much.

He had long since packed and triple checked he had everything, then checked one more time just in case.

That left him with plenty of time to stew over that arduous job he was being forced to do. Throwing his life on the line all in the name of corporate politics was horrific enough, and as if it couldn't get any worse, he had to work with that bogus "team".

A pervert obsessed with something ("Celty" was it?), and a shark that was most definitely after his position. But they were _nothing_ compared to that blonde beast.

'That monster's probably brain dead, a stupid bomb just dying to blow. No wait, that would be an insult to bombs.' Izaya thought bitterly.

He couldn't see how he would be able to work with such a volatile brute, but he supposed he didn't have a choice.

 _Meanwhile_

"Where the hell where is it!" Shizuo yelled as he rummaged around in his room, trying to find basically everything.

He had started packing only a few minutes ago, after taking a long walk to cool off.

What? So he procrastinated, but it was only on the things he hated.

It wasn't his fault he hated a lot of things.

Take doing a dangerous job for example, and with that _flea_ -just thinking about it enraged him.

Needing to calm down, he reached into his pocket for a cigarette, pulling out the pack, only to find it empty.

..."DAMN IT!"

Why was it always such a long day?


	6. Don't make me! Please?

_July 6, Sapien Ikebukuro Lab, 11:34 AM_

This time, Shizuo was going to be first, damn straight.

He had just got out of a taxi, and carrying one fairly large suitcase, he walked towards the lab.

He wanted to prove his tardiness yesterday was just an unfortunate fluke, and he was feeling pretty good when he saw the lab's entrance.

Then his eyes landed on the flea.

" _WHAT_ THE FUCK!"

* * *

Izaya turned towards the approaching beast, smirking.

A chuckle. "Hello to you too."

Shizuo glared furiously. "Why the hell are you here so early!"

'Ah, I get it now.' Izaya snickered, "Why, did you want to be the first one here, to disprove how unprofessional you were yesterday?"

Shizuo could feel his face coloring, and not just from anger. "Like hell I was! I just hate seeing your face more than I have to!"

Izaya's eyes narrowed. "Seeing my face, you mean like seeing Yakama-san's?"

Shizuo paled. "H-How do you even _know_ that!? That's none of your business!"

Izaya started laughing. "I googled you last night, and there were videos all over YouTube! I've got to say, you really do have the strength of a monster."

He wiped a tear from his face. "Now I know why you were so eager to accept this project! Ruining the life of a powerful CEO must have really got you into some _serious_ trouble. You're lucky _Sapien_ needed you, though I can't for the life of me fathom why. "

Shizuo snapped.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He lunged towards Izaya, fist ready to strike.

Predicting this, Izaya dodged out of the way easily, he had wanted to provoke the brute from the very beginning.

Gracefully, from his sleeve he slid out a switch blade, and sliced the monster across the sternum. Blood streaming, Izaya tried to make it as deep as possible.

Shizuo stopped. He placed his hand on the wound, staining it red.

Izaya waited for the beast to rampage.

"Fuck! This was a new shirt!" Shizuo shouted, hastily getting out a handkerchief to soak up the blood.

Dumbfounded, Izaya thought, 'Shouldn't he be going ballistic? I just gave him a deep wound and he's more concerned about his shirt?! This wasn't what I predicted...'

Shizuo looked up, annoyed. "You're paying for this shirt!"

But there was another thing Izaya wanted to say. 'Eat this, monster.'

"I won't be paying for anything, _Shizu-chan_."

Freezing, Shizuo stared at Izaya. "What did you just call me?"

Izaya smiled innocently. "Shizu-chan! Let's work together on this project Shizu-chan! I hope Shizu-chan and I can have some fun! Shizu-"

"AGGGHHH! MY NAME IS SHIZUO! SHIZUO YOU DAMN FLEA!"

Frowning, Izaya really didn't like what Shizu-chan called him. "Flea? You couldn't even come up with a more tasteful name? How sad."

Izaya shrugged, eyes taunting. "Protozoan."

"DAMN FLEA BAG-"

"Hey guys! Wow, you're early!" called Aoba happily. He walked towards them with Shinra close behind.

Aoba smiled shyly. "I'm just a newbie at _Sapien_ , but I'll work really hard to make up for my lack of experience. I hope we can all work together, and maybe even be friends!"

Shizuo nodded, smiling back. "Sure kid. Just don't piss me off, and we'll get along just fine."

Izaya gave Aoba his signature smirk. 'Yeah right, shark boy. Unlike that beast, I can see right through you,'

He trusted this kid about as much as he could throw him.

Aoba faced Izaya with a smirk of his own, eyes glinting with malice and mutual distrust.

This was all lost on Shizuo, as he reached for a cigarette.

Meanwhile, Shinra just smiled, with that knowing smile of his.

* * *

 _12:00 PM_

The doors of the lab opened, and a huge, African American man stepped out. In a heavy Russian accent he said, "Hello hello! I am Simon, nice to meet you! You are group studying fossil decay?"

"Yes, that's us!" They briefly introduced themselves, remembering the cover story.

Simon grinned. "Come in come in! I show you around."

Inside, the lab was exactly the same as it was on the outside, unremarkable.

'How disappointing,' Izaya thought. He was used to the main lab in Shinjuku, which had excellent aesthetics. Glancing at the others, he could tell Shinra and Aoba felt the same.

The beast didn't even look around. 'Stupid protozoan, of course he wouldn't care what a lab looks like so long as it works.'

Simon told them the basics. There were 5 floors, 5th was the sleeping quarters, 4th the cafeteria, with the last 3 floors the working areas.

They were connected with multiple elevators, and there were no stairs.

* * *

 _2:07 PM_

"Here is where you sleep, you only get 2 rooms." Simon said apologetically. The lab was too overpopulated with scientists for anyone to get their own room.

The 2 rooms available to them were right next to each other, each having 2 beds.

That meant they had to double up.

At first, Shizuo didn't really care, but then-

"Shinra, can I room with you?" asked Aoba timidly.

"Sure!"

'Wait, if Aoba's rooming with Shinra, then that means-'

Shizuo met Izaya's anxious stare, coming to the same conclusion.

"NO! Shinra, I'm rooming with you! Sorry Aoba," Shizuo hurriedly spouted.

Izaya wore his disgusting smirk. "No way Shizu-chan, Shinra's rooming with me."

"SHUT UP! LIKE HELL!" shouted Shizuo.

Shinra smiled, or was it a smirk? "Okay Shizuo, I'll room with you. Sorry Aoba, Izaya."

Shizuo sighed in relief. 'Crisis averted.'

At the same time, Izaya's smirk morphed into a frown.

Inside, he started to panic. 'If Shizu-chan's rooming with Shinra, then that means-!'

He glanced at Aoba, whom looked back at Izaya with mutual hostility and alarm.

Izaya had to act fast.

He latched onto Shinra's arm, pulling hard. "Room with me! I'm the perfect roommate, clean and tidy! It'd be a nightmare rooming with that monster! Even breathing the same air as that thing is appalling-"

"WHAT!" Shizuo grabbed Shinra's other arm, wrenching it towards him. "No you DON'T! I'm rooming with Shinra and that's final!"

Caught in the middle, Shinra felt like a human rubber band, about to snap from the two forces stretching out his arms. "Guys, calm down! Why don't we just talk about-"

" _ **NO!**_ "

They were causing a scene, and people were starting to stare. Funny, attracting attention was what they were told _not_ to do.

Aoba was laughing, clenching his stomach while Simon watched the three in amusement.

He knew exactly what was happening.

"A love triangle! I see this in movies! Izaya and Shizuo, with Shinra, you are eager to, what is it you Japanese say, ah! Make babies!" he exclaimed matter-of-factly. He paused. "But you are all men, so-"

"GROSS! EWWW!" Shizuo yelled, outraged. He sprung away from Shinra, glaring at Simon.

Likewise, Izaya distanced himself from Shinra, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Shinra shivered.

"There's only one way to settle this." Izaya said as he whipped out his switch blade.

Shizuo clenched his fists. "I agree."

Just as they were about to brawl, Simon stepped in, using some martial arts move to lock Shizuo against him.

"WHAT THE HELL SIMON!" Struggling, Shizuo remained in Simon's hold.

Izaya looked on, surprised, as he knew the monster had superhuman strength.

'Just who are you, Simon?'

Simon's eyes darkened, his whole demeanor changing. "Violence bad. Peace good. More violence, no rooms."

Aoba raised his voice, "Guys you heard the man, no more fighting, or we won't have anywhere to sleep!"

Shizuo sighed, nodding. Simon released him, all cheery again.

Shinra spoke up, "Shizuo, I'd like to room with you."

Shizuo let out a yelp. "YES!"

Grabbing their suitcases, he and Shinra started walking towards one of the rooms.

Crestfallen, Izaya tried, "But Shinra! I'm the better roommate!"

Shinra didn't even turn around. "Sorry Izaya!"

As Shizuo and Shinra went into their room, Shizuo muttered, "Why does he want to room with you so badly anyway? Do you guys know each other?"

He was startled when Shinra barked with laughter. "Ha ha! I'm just the best option. You see, Izaya hates you _and_ Aoba. I'm neutral to him, so of course he'd want to room with me."

Confused, Shizuo thought, 'Of course Izaya hates me, but why Aoba? Aoba can be a little bratty, but he seems like a nice kid...'

A thought occurred to Shizuo. "If you knew that, then you could have just roomed with Izaya, and I could have roomed with Aoba."

Shinra faced him, glasses glinting in the light. "Of course! But, I think this is for the best, for the both of them." He grinned, like he was in on some secret.

Shizuo shrugged. 'Creepy sadist.'

 _At the same time_

Sighing, Izaya dragged his luggage towards the other room.

Behind him, a pissed Aoba followed Izaya into their room.

They dropped off their luggage and glanced around the room, annoyed to find it reasonably small by any standard.

They completely ignored each other as they exited.


	7. Settling Down

_8:54 PM_

"This is your lab!" Simon said cheerfully.

 _Finally._

They had toured the entire day, wasting an entire day of their lives learning about a bunch of crap he couldn't care less about. He spent most of the time either tuning out Simon or death-glaring the flea.

Simon explained to them that every team of scientists got their own private lab. Medium size, each lab was isolated from all other labs and otherwise closed off.

And no kidding, their lab's windows were all blacked out, with the front door being the only entrance and exit. Simon also informed them the lab was completely sound proof.

A little unnerved, Shizuo blurted, "What the hell? Why is everything so secretive?"

Izaya burst out laughing.

"You protozoan! I didn't think it was possible, but you're dumber than you look!" His nasal, airy laugh echoed through the wide halls of the long corridor housing 2 other labs.

Enraged, Shizuo shouted, "DON'T LAUGH AT ME FLEA! AHHHH!" Before he could rush at him, he was promptly restrained by Simon, for the 5th time since the tour started.

Used to it by now, Aoba and Shinra just waited it out.

A few minutes, and Izaya quieted down, sneering, "Scientists have their work stolen all the time! Lying, cheating, stealing, you can't trust anyone in science." A shrug. "You ignorant fool, you probably have no idea, since all you do is run around in the mud finding little trinkets for the _real_ scientists to decipher."

"ARHHHHHHHHHHGGGG! I'LL KILL YOU!"

A few more minutes, and Simon was able to calm Shizuo down enough through some weird taming exercises Aoba was sure he had seen animal trainers use at the circus.

Simon releases Shizuo, and Shinra estimates it would be, at most, a half hour before this happens again.

Fuming, Shizuo stormed towards the door. 'The sooner the project is finished, the better. I'm gonna decipher the artifacts, present my bit during the Summit, and then I can move on with my life, and away from that fucking fleabag.'

He felt a huge hand grip his shoulder. Simon grinned, "No work until after dinner!"

He dangled the key from his forefinger finger. Like an afterthought, he said, "One lab, one key."

Izaya sighed, "Fine. I need to get away from this monster anyways."

Before Shizuo could open his mouth to yell, Simon said, "I work at Russia Sushi, Sushi good! We go together!"

It just so happened that Izaya's favorite food in the whole wide world was fatty tuna. "Sure. Let's go."

Simon follows Izaya, his hand never leaving Shizuo's shoulder. At this point, he was in essence dragging Shizuo, infuriating him. "WHAT THE FUCK SIMON! LET GO!"

Confused, Simon turned to Aoba and Shinra. "Why you standing there? We go together!"

Surprised, they immediately followed, a little fearful of what Simon would do if they didn't.

Suki's order of never going outside during the evenings crossed Shinra's mind, but he disregarded it, 'It's not like she'll know,'

It turned out Russia Sushi was a restaurant outside the lab, where Simon worked during his spare time, and was run by an old friend of his.

Uneventful, dinner was everyone enduring each other's presence and wolfing everything down to end it quickly.

* * *

 _9:49 PM_

After arriving back at their lab, Simon handed them their only key and was on his way. "See you! Come to Russia Sushi! Sushi good!"

 _Finally._

Izaya just wanted to get on with the project.

Shinra turned the key and opened the door.

The inside of the lab was just like everything else in this dump, mundane and unremarkable.

The door opened up to a lounge-like room, bare except for a few couches. He guessed this was the meeting room. On either side of this room was a door. The left door opened to where all the technology and equipment was, and the right had a huge table and whiteboard, with chairs and markers. There were also various writing materials, and one computer.

'At least all the equipment's up to date and competent,' Izaya thought after he scanned everything.

Obviously, the right room was for anthropologists, and the left for analysts and archaeologists.

Izaya was relieved he wouldn't have to be in the same room as Shizu-chan, at least most of the time, but then his mood soured at what this meant.

He wasn't the only anthropologist.

 _Shark boy._

* * *

After a quick detour of the lab, Shizuo was ready to begin.

There was just one problem.

"Where the hell are the artifacts?" asked Shizuo, temper flaring.

Everyone stood still, thoughts racing.

"I'll call Hanatori-san." Shinra said, already dialing.

 _Ring~ Ri-_

"Ah, hello, the fossils aren't here."

Confused for a moment, Shizuo remembered their cover story. There were supposed to be a team researching fossil decay from Mount Fuji.

Because all their conversations could be tapped, the instructions in terms of contacting Suki were to purchase a new phone under an alias to be used exclusively for calling her, and to never speak any names while talking. Shinra had taken the liberty of buying one yesterday, wearing a disguise of course.

"Oh. Okay, I see. Yes, everything is going well. Thank you, bye." Shinra hung up. "Hanatori-san said she thought they were already here, but there was a shipping delay. They'll be here tomorrow night at approximately 8:45 PM."

Shizuo cursed, Aoba groaned, and Izaya puffed.

Shinra beamed. "But I know something we can do tomorrow! I propose we go to the Danijima Forest near Ikebukuro!"

He was met with what he expected.

"Yeah right," Izaya said as he turned towards the door.

"Sorry Kishitani-san!" said Aoba with an apologetic smile. 'Never in a million years would I _voluntarily_ spend time with any of you freaks.'

"Fuck off." Shizuo said halfheartedly, he was too tired for this.

But Shinra knew exactly what to say.

"It'll only be for a few hours, the scenery's great, and I could show you some awesome sites! This'll be a great way to get acquainted, which leads to better teamwork and thus finishing the project faster! And maybe you guys won't get along, but you'll come around!"

'I could really use some fresh nature air, and I wanna check out the scenery, the sites-' Shizuo grumbled, "Fine. Whatever."

'I can analyze their every move in this new location, and maybe find out more about them so I can use it against them in the future.' Aoba said, "Okay! I'm sure it'll be a fun trip, Kishitani-san!"

'I'd love to piss Shizu-chan off, maybe he'll even die if someone _accidentally_ pushed him off a rock cliff or something. Anything can happen in nature...' Izaya smirked, "Sure Shinra."

Shinra simpered. "Great! We'll meet outside Ikebukuro Lab at 8:00 AM! Dress lightly, it's going to be hot out!"

As everyone left their lab, Izaya wondered, 'What's in it for you Shinra? Manipulating us into going on this trip, what could you have to gain?'

* * *

 _10:06 PM_

Izaya and co. headed towards the exit of the Ikebukuro Lab, which, like everything else apparently, had only one exit and entrance. 'What is this, a prison?'

As he was about to touch the door, someone shouted, "Hey! What are you doing there! Trespasser!"

A man ran towards them, shouting into a walkie talkie.

Security immediately rained down, and an alert blared throughout the building.

But before Shizuo could charge at them like a bull, Simon appeared out of nowhere and again, restrained Shizuo, this time via a full nelson.

"ARGHHHHH! LET ME AT 'EM! LET ME AT 'EM!"

* * *

 _10:44 PM_

With the help of Simon, and explaining their cover stories for the umpteenth time, they were allowed to leave the interrogation room.

The man who'd mistaken them for trespassers was a security guard, whom was new on the job and overreacted.

Clearing the whole mess up was a hassle, but at least Izaya was assured staying in the lab was safe from any potential outside threats.

They learned that the Lab had a lock-down, starting at 10:00 PM sharp. No one was allowed in or out after that time, which lifted at 5:00 AM.

Simon apologized sheepishly, "I forget tell you? Ah, very sorry!"

* * *

 _10:48 PM_

It was such a relief to sleep.

Immediately upon returning to his room Shizuo flopped down on the bed like a fish, limbs sprawling.

He didn't bother with anything else, and crashed a few moments after his head hit the pillow.

* * *

 _10:48 PM_

Izaya and Aoba entered their room, separately.

He still couldn't believe he had to sleep in the same room with that- he didn't even want to think about it.

Aoba apparently decided to skip brushing his teeth, 'Gross, but since when do shark brush their teeth?'

Izaya headed into the bathroom to do just that, and after exiting, he found Aoba's back facing him, sleeping in _his_ bed.

The room got icier.

Earlier that day Izaya had deposited his luggage at the bed farthest away from their room's door, only because Aoba had already taken the one closest.

He honestly didn't care which bed he had, but after Aoba deliberately went out of his way to provoke Izaya, it angered him.

Seething, he stalked to his luggage and harshly moved them to the other bed, making sure they screeched loudly on the floor.

Both understood, that the other would do more than attack them in their sleep if pissed off enough.

He settled into bed, and he drifted off, having a pleasant dream.

Izaya dreamed of slitting Aoba's wrists in his sleep with his favorite switch blade.

* * *

 **Hello.**

 **Next chapter will be an _interesting_ excursion! By the way, ****Danijima Forest doesn't actually exist, I made it up.**


	8. A simple excursion

_5:37 AM_

Aoba woke up, he had always been an early bird.

Feeling like he had enough rest, he got up from bed, remembering what he had to do today. 'I get to spend more time with these freaks, great.'

He looked to the left, seeing Izaya sleeping soundly, smirking at the memory of stealing his bed last night.

Then he noticed the bathroom was right next to Izaya's bed.

Oh, how he was going to love this.

* * *

 _5:39 AM_

 _PSWHHHHHHHH! PSSSSHWWWW! HHHHHHHWWW!_

Izaya groaned, jerked awake by the loud noise.

He was so _tired_ , he just wanted to sleep...-

But he had always been a light sleeper.

Sitting up on his elbows, he looked around to glare at whatever that obnoxious noise was, realizing the bed next to him was empty.

He then heard that the noise was coming from the bathroom.

 _SHARK BOY._

Livid, Izaya swore, 'I'll make you pay for this, you'll be sorry you ever messed with me,'

Too tired to do anything else, he slumped back into bed, yanking a pillow over his face in an attempt to muffle the noise, to no avail.

The shower lasted exactly 1 hour and 18 minutes.

He never noticed his alarm had been turned off.

* * *

 _7:00 AM_

 _Beep! Beep! Be-Thwack!_ "Good morning Shizuo! Time to get ready!" said Shinra enthusiastically.

"Aghh...later..." mumbled Shizuo, pulling the covers over his head.

Shinra grinned. "What would Izaya say? He probably thinks you're a total mess in the mornings."

Bolting up, Shizuo growled, " Damn flea! I'll show him who's a mess!"

* * *

 _7:51 AM_

Izaya slowly awakened, shifted in bed, and glanced at his alarm.

 _7:52 AM_

"WHAT!?" Izaya rushed off the bed, his legs tangling in the sheets, sending him tumbling down onto the hardwood floor, kneecaps first.

"AGHHH!"

* * *

 _7:59 AM_

Shizuo paced back and forth furiously. "WHERE THE HELL IS THAT FLEA!?" He and Shinra had arrived 24 minutes ago, and Aoba 17.

Aoba.

Shizuo glared. "You slept with that flea, why didn't you come down together!?"

Slightly nauseous, Aoba smiled innocently, "I didn't sleep with him, per say, but we slept in the same room. And, Izaya actually got up before me! He left and said he'd be back, I've no idea where he went."

Aoba knitted his eyebrows in worry. "I hope something didn't happen to him."

Shizuo actually bought it. "DAMN FLEABAG! BEING LATE AND MAKING PEOPLE WORRY! HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE!"

Shinra turned away, chuckling on the inside.

* * *

 _8:00 AM_

"I'm here! On time, mind you." said Izaya with a calculated casualness as he emerged from the doors of the Lab.

He tried his best to act calm and collected, but-

"BWAAAAHHH! HHAAAA! HHHAA! HHAA! AAHHH!"

* * *

8:01 AM

Shizuo just couldn't hold it in. He guffawed together with Aoba, and Shinra wore that I-Know-Exactly smile (smirk).

Izaya was sucking air like a vacuum, gasping and breathless. His hair was a bird's nest, sticking up in multiple directions, and his clothes looked random and wrinkled, looking like pajamas instead of actual clothing.

He looked nothing like the oh-so sophisticated, well put together man Shizuo had come to hate.

Izaya's eyes darkened in anger, knowing whatever he said would go over their heads.

Shortly before, after a brief struggle with the sheets, he jumped into the shower, because above else he refused to _stink_.

Then he threw on the first clothes he found in his suitcase and dashed out his room, finger combing his hair on the way, dreading to think about what he looked like.

He stewed, shooting shark boy the filthiest glare in his arsenal.

He was matched with a venomous sneer.

* * *

 _9:07 AM_

"Isn't this fun? Hiking, seeing the sites, this is nature at its finest!" Shinra exclaimed happily. They had gotten to the forest an hour ago, and since then they had been hiking up "meek" slopes.

Izaya was literally about ready to collapse.

He was sure he had done more exercise in the past hour than in his entire life, and coupled with his sleep deprivation, he was completely exhausted. And, thanks to his fall from this morning, his knees ached with every step he took.

In all actuality, he hated the outdoors. It meant bugs, sunburn, heat, lack of modern conveniences, and most of all lack of civilization. And, _exercise_.

But he hated Shizu-chan more. Whether or not it was an archaeologist, an animal's natural habitat was nature. Getting the chance to piss off the beast in the place where it was most at peace, how could Izaya resist?

He was starting to regret it now.

Melting like ice cream, he was worried he was going to die from heat stroke, if physical overwork didn't get him first.

His one saving grace was that he was wearing light clothing. Super short booty shorts and a tank top, both were meant for sleeping. At first he had been mortified, but all sense of shame had long since burned up, like him.

There was only one word to describe this: _torture_.

He couldn't take another step, reaching his limit.

* * *

 _9:08 AM_

"Hey, where's Izaya?" asked Shinra, looking over the group.

They turned around, and were met with Izaya, 26 feet away, face first on the dirt.

Shinra murmured to himself, "Wow, I didn't expect this to happen so fast." He turned to Shizuo. "You have to carry Izaya, since neither of us are strong enough to do it."

Shizuo sighed heavily. It made sense, but still, UGH. "Fine."

He walked over to the flea, crouching down to pick him up. Immediately he noticed the flea's skin was turning red. "Idiot! Why didn't you put on sunscreen!?" Cursing, he took off his hiking bag, riffling through it. Being a wilderness extraordinaire, Shizuo was prepared for anything, even for a little excursion like this.

He got out sunscreen, and began to lather Izaya's entire body.

Incredulous, Aoba asked, "Why are you taking care of him? I thought you hated him Heiwajima-san!" Even Shinra was surprised.

Shizuo growled, "I do! But I can't just ignore this..." After he was done, he took out a large, thin blanket, and swaddled Izaya to block out the sun, picking him up bridal style.

* * *

 _1:04 PM_

Izaya slowly came to, and became aware that he was moving.

Confused, he opened his eyes, and saw he was cradled against a broad chest, in strong arms...

He looked up, staring straight into dark amber.

Shizuo looked down at Izaya, gazing into brown rubies.

They couldn't describe this feeling...

"Oh Izaya your awake! That's good, we're about to reach our second site!" called Shinra.

"Second? How long was I out?" Izaya was shocked, recalling how he had fainted so unceremoniously.

"It's about 1 now. You should thank Shizuo, he carried you for 4 hours!" chirped Shinra.

Floored, Izaya tore his gaze away from Shizu-chan, he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

 _Why Shizu-chan?_

"Hey look we're here!"

* * *

 _1:05 PM_

This second site was a large clearing with giant pine trees, and logs around the remains of a bonfire.

Shizu-chan placed him gently on one of the logs. _Gently?_

For the first time, Izaya found he was wrapped up in some material, even covering his head like a makeshift hood. "What's the meaning of this Shizu-chan!? Were you trying to kill me with heatstroke?"

Shizu-chan shook with anger.

Aoba quickly blurt, "Heiwajima-san! Didn't we see a river nearby? Why don't you go cool off there? I mean, only if you want to! Heh heh." He did _not_ want to see a rampage, especially since Simon wasn't here...

Huffing, Shizuo stormed off towards said river.

Izaya watched him go, annoyed for some reason.

"Hey Izaya! You can walk now right? Be a dear, go to the river and fill up my water bottle, hm?" asked Aoba.

Irritated, Izaya wanted to flip him the bird, but he would never stoop to such vulgarities. "I just woke up, and no, go do it yourself." Bitch.

Shinra jumped in. "But Izaya, this would be a good chance to stretch your legs, before hiking to our next site. Unless you want Shizuo to carry you?"

Seething, Izaya grabbed Aoba's water bottle. "Fine, whatever." He walked in the direction Shizu-chan left.

Shizu-chan. The river.

Cursing, Izaya clenched his fists. He felt the coolness of Aoba's reservoir in his palm.

Shark boy's water bottle.

He smirked, walking on.

"Wait."

"What Shinra?"

"Don't forget my bottle!~"

* * *

 _1:10 PM_

His anger gone, Shizuo exhaled, his feet resting in the water.

His shirt clinging to him from the day's excursion, he stood up, and in one swoop, slid the shirt off from his chest, head, and onto the ground.

He stretched his arms, a bit stiff from carrying the flea for most of the day.

* * *

 _1:10 PM_

Mind completely blank.

Rippling muscles moving under golden skin, glistening

Perfect structure, tall, bold

Embracing the sun, face serene

 _Beautiful_

* * *

 _1:11 PM_

Shizuo decided to head back, and as he put his shirt on, he felt a presence behind him.

He turned around, seeing the flea.

Said flea stared at the ground, face blank.

It pissed him off.

"What the FUCK are you doing here, fleabag!"

This seemed to snap the flea out of whatever trance he was in, and he snickered, "What's it to you?" He turned his back to Shizuo, bending down above the water with something in his hands.

Light bulb blaring, Shizuo smirked.

* * *

 _1:12 PM_

Izaya started to fill up the water bottles-

He was slammed into the water, something large and heavy clutching him.

Fear gripped him, and he thrashed in the water, swallowing and choking.

He couldn't swim.

He lunged his head up for air, quickly realizing he was sitting.

He coughed and sputtered, fear subsiding, becoming aware that someone was in the water with him.

"Hha! haa! ha! ha! ha!" Shizuo bellowed. The flea looked like a deer in headlights-

 _SLAP!_

Shizuo barely registered the pain in his face, that he'd just been slapped.

Enraged, Shizuo pinned the flea's wrists into the water, trapping the flea between him and the river.

The water lapped at Izaya's back, his wrists pinned behind him, which were the only thing holding him up as Shizu-chan hovered over him, 6 inches separating them.

But he was too infuriated to care. "You idiot! I can't swim!" He screamed into Shizuo's face.

Anger melting, Shizuo looked into Izaya's red rimmed eyes, his grip loosening.

He said softly, "I'm sorry."

Izaya felt all the fight leave him, breath hot on Shizuo's face.

They peered at each other,-

"Oh! There you guys are, you sure took your time!" called Shinra, materializing out of nowhere. He had come to check on them, worried that Shizuo had done something to Izaya. He couldn't have one of them killed, he would execute the plan perfectly, he had to.

Shizuo and Izaya burst apart from each other like a popped balloon, faces flushed.

* * *

 _1:15 PM_

Izaya handed back the water bottles.

He cursed himself for forgetting to do what he intended with shark boy's.

* * *

 _8:09 PM_

"Um Kishitani-san? If you don't mind me asking, didn't you say this trip was only going to be a few hours? When will we be leaving?" asked Aoba for the 3rd time.

"Oh? But I don't remember saying anything like that. Well anyway, we're staying the night! Look, that's our campsite!" Shinra said happily.

Aoba felt he was at the end of his rope with this freak show. At first, he had thought Shinra was a normal person, whom he could stand, but now...

Clearly he was the sole sane person in this bogus troupe.

At least he didn't starve, what with Shinra's outrageous amount of food he brought along. "Anyone hungry feel free!" No doubt he had this all planned.

By Shinra's side, was Shizuo. Even he remembered Shinra stating the trip would be short, but he didn't mind.

He loved camping.

With the pack leader, Shizuo wouldn't have to walk near Izaya, whom was trailing at the end, purposely.

They had been avoiding each other all day.

Finally at the campsite, it was yet another large clearing with large trees and logs around a dead fire. How exciting.

Izaya plopped onto one of the logs, while Shizu-chan sat down on another one, the furthest one away.

They had a silent agreement: act like nothing had happened.

He should have been outraged at being forced to sleep in the wilderness like some animal, but at this point, Izaya was bone-tired, he just wanted to sleep, and hopefully forget about- _sigh_.

Exasperated, Aoba tried to keep it together, "But Kishitani-san, how will we sleep? We don't have sleeping bags, a tent, or anything! We should head back right now, who's with me?"

Shinra chuckled lightly. "Go back? It'll take hours! And in this dark, you'll get mauled by a bear if you don't get lost first."

Giving up, Aoba sat on a log. 'Why did I come?!'

In fact, Shizuo knew they had circled back towards the beginning of the forest, and were actually right by the entrance. It wouldn't take 5 minutes to exit if they went in the right direction. Of course, Shizuo kept this knowledge to himself.

He loved camping.

Shinra started a fire with a match, then frowned. "This fire will go out soon without any wood. Aoba, Izaya, could you go collect some?"

Izaya was about to refuse, but he wasn't weak, and he especially didn't want to seem like it in front of Shizu-chan.

He got up, pointedly going in the opposite direction of shark boy.

* * *

 _8:13 PM_

Izaya was lost, irrefutably so.

He had been collecting fallen branches, walked around aimlessly, and when he went to go back, he couldn't find the campsite.

His mind on overdrive, he thought about all the ways he could die like this, bears, frostbite, falling into a trench-

He saw a figure in the distance.

Hurriedly, he ran towards it, "It's Izaya!" He hoped it was Shinra, the only person he could handle right now.

As he approached it, he saw light, which he discovered was from the campsite fire, relief cooling him.

But the light flickered onto the face of a shark-like boy.

Izaya glared, marching towards the campsite.

"What's the matter? Afraid?" came a sneer.

Growling, Izaya whipped around. "As if. You better watch what you say, shark boy. Just drop dead."

Aoba tensed, snarling, "Not if you're first."

Not understanding, Izaya wasn't prepared when Aoba shoved him.

Now, it was just a harmless shove, and it would have just made Izaya stumble, if not for the shallow rock cliff.

Izaya's foot landed on nothing as he stumbled, tumbling off the ground as he smashed head first into flowing water.

 _SPLASH!_

"What the hell was that?" wondered Shizuo, puffing out smoke. He had stepped away from the campsite for a little while, in need of a good smoke.

He walked towards the sound, finding Aoba.

The boy was cackling, "Izaya fell into there!"

Shizuo heard the sound of running water.

 _"You idiot! I can't swim!"_

Shizuo plunged into the abyss.

* * *

 **That Aoba, why must he be so cruel?**

 **As for Shizuo and Izaya, let's see what'll happen!**


End file.
